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04 June 2012


I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for everyone's concern and offers to help. It means so much to us that everyone is ready and willing to help if we should need it.

I'm stuck in the funk of not knowing what comes next, of not knowing whether or not the surgery will be scheduled or delayed or ignored or made top priority. It's so frustrating.

Today I see the specialist to get the in-depth neuro eye exam. Last week I picked up a disk with my MRI images to take to the doctor today. I came home and put it in the computer. Huge mistake. There is no amount of preparing or rationalizing that made me capable of seeing those pictures. That's one big tumor in my head, folks. If I had photo editing software, I'd crop a picture and post it here. Maybe I can figure that out this week. Because I'm all about sharing the gasping horror with those that I love.

I'm waiting on a call about a contract job that I interviewed for on Friday. News this afternoon maybe. Not totally sure I want the job if it turns out I'm going to have to quit because who wants a new employee that's going to have to have major surgery and be out for over a month? That sounds horrible, of course I *want* the job...I just don't want the mess of having to leave it should this turn out the way that I fear.

Feeling like a big coward all the sudden. Where did I put that courage again?


  1. I hate that you are going through this. Uncle Herb has a tumor too, that he is living with. He went to the Cleveland Clinic. Do we need to get you to someplace like that for another opinion?


  2. I may need a second opinion at some point but I trust that the neurosurgeon is on track for what we need to do. I have to get this exam today to know if it's affecting my eyesight yet or not. From there, we'll determine when to schedule surgery.

    If I were older, like 50 or 60, he'd suggest just watching it. But because I'm going to live another 50 years or so, the chances of it never causing vision issues are pretty small and I will have to have it removed at some point, we just don't know when yet.

    I got a card in the mail from Aunt Jo this weekend talking about Herb's tumor. Do you know what it was? Mine is technically not a brain tumor because it's in the lining. My dad's dad had a brain tumor, too, at some point but I don't have any details on it since the people that would know have passed.

  3. They called it a brain tumor, but I have no details beyond that. I know he had problems with double vision at one point and so he underwent treatment to shrink it, and those problems were resolved. I don't know if there is a genetic component to what you have.