I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for everyone's concern and offers to help. It means so much to us that everyone is ready and willing to help if we should need it.
I'm stuck in the funk of not knowing what comes next, of not knowing whether or not the surgery will be scheduled or delayed or ignored or made top priority. It's so frustrating.
Today I see the specialist to get the in-depth neuro eye exam. Last week I picked up a disk with my MRI images to take to the doctor today. I came home and put it in the computer. Huge mistake. There is no amount of preparing or rationalizing that made me capable of seeing those pictures. That's one big tumor in my head, folks. If I had photo editing software, I'd crop a picture and post it here. Maybe I can figure that out this week. Because I'm all about sharing the gasping horror with those that I love.
I'm waiting on a call about a contract job that I interviewed for on Friday. News this afternoon maybe. Not totally sure I want the job if it turns out I'm going to have to quit because who wants a new employee that's going to have to have major surgery and be out for over a month? That sounds horrible, of course I *want* the job...I just don't want the mess of having to leave it should this turn out the way that I fear.
Feeling like a big coward all the sudden. Where did I put that courage again?